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  • Writer's picturenotdeermag

Bug Spray, Caleb F. Stocco

Updated: Mar 10, 2022

CW: insects

i don’t want to be alone

in a home

teeming with insects.

satyr butterflies

and carpenter moths

eating the insides of walls

eating the wires in the walls

and biting their own companions.


beetles come out

of the faucets

when water is summoned.

they flow like the bees

that swarm

near the half opened jar

of honey


in the kitchen

foreign to them,

for it is not theirs

but theirs is the desire

to dip their yellow wings -

carbon paper thin -

into the amber resin.

toadbugs feast

on the fresh fruit

and the rotten apples,

strawberries, oranges.

the fridge is infested

with weevils.


violin spiders

redback spiders

crawl over and under

the floor.

they cover

the ladybugs

and the windows

in tangled webs.

rabid. again.

when i open the door,

i struggle not to disrupt

the quiet of the wasp nest

in the foyer.

i'm allergic.

when i sleep,

i can feel them

on my skin,

on my eyelids,

on my lips,

and i stay still.

i lie still.

i repress the urge to





i'm a rock,

covered in moss,

they will


if they know i'm not.

i can't





i am covered in webs and insects

that i cannot shake off.


Caleb F. Stocco (he/they) is an eighteen-year-old Italian student from Venice. Caleb is queer (gay and angry at the idea of gender), and their favourite hobbies are listening to an absurd amount of music, and photography, specifically editorial and fashion-oriented photoshoots.

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