• notdeermag

i should have dated a chupacabra instead, Jessica Howatson

Updated: Apr 8

CW: implied physical/sexual assault


you told me you were a vampire

swore black and blue and

mottled yellow the next morning

swore with your hands on my unwilling body

feeling out the flesh for delicious and gratifying give

swore in a language you invented and claimed was older than time

unfamiliar characters that spelled out always

I am more special and more broken than you

I will sculpt your naivety and sympathy into penances

appeasing my appetites beneath your skin

swore for years I was misremembering

the night I learned you were a bloodsucker of a different kind

violating boundaries you

swore you didn't hear

leaving hollow bodies in your wake



Jessica Howatson (she/her) is a queer poet living in New Zealand with her husband and two preschoolers. She has words in Mayhem and takahē and work forthcoming in Small Leaf Press' JADEN. She writes because it's cheaper than therapy.

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