• notdeermag

what did you do to me?, Charlotte Reed

CW: autopsy


I’m back on the table again.

An autopsy this time.

I am cut

open and my skin

peeled back.

I wish to be vulnerable, to tell you

everything that needs to be said.

I cannot help but hide it in laughs, my eyes glassy as I watch myself in the mirror

hung above me.


You root through my chest,

picking out what you want from me leaving

those dark rotten parts behind.

You’re taking everything healthy from me.

Where does that leave me?

Still lying on the cold metal, digging into me.

While you

thrive.


The mirror warps and I see myself

through your eyes this time.

It’s not so bad, I suppose.

Until you start to pack up and I start to panic.

I am left opened up on this table, half full of only the blackened parts of me,

staring up at myself the way you would stare down at me,

unable to remember

how I really look.

Your silent goodbye not enough to satisfy me.

My voice taken with you so I cannot

scream for you to come back.


I lie there, listening to the pipes dripping slowly.

Drop by drop, going insane.

This silent waiting suffocating me but

I don’t think you’re coming back.


You were the one to tie me down, to cut me

open,

You didn’t have the decency to set me free


You were the one that got all the best parts of me,

You got to take them with you and left me

with nothing.


I lie in your workshop,

still waiting.

I’m going to be waiting for a while.

 

Charlotte Reed is a second year student of Chemistry at Queen's University Belfast- despite her study of science she still has a passion for writing and is the Public Relations Officer of the Queen's Writers' Society. Her work can be found in Catatonic Daughters and Inertia Teens.

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